Here’s What I Wish My Food Pics Looked Like
Posted: March 8, 2013 Filed under: Culture, Household Items, Opinion, Put it in Your Mouth | Tags: food photography, food porn, georgian food, heavenly spread, take out Leave a comment »Remember when I was weighing my takeout and taking awful dark photos of it on my iphone all the time?
Or when I was obsessed with raw meat?
pile of meat
My friend Nina has a slightly erotically titled food blog Heavenly Spread and she takes actual pretty photos involving raw meat.
Yummers I want to eat these after they are cooked. The photo above is of Georgian Tolmas. Nina is from Georgia so she has great hair which is thick and healthy and looks great naturally poofy or sleek and styled. She also helps me with my many photo and technical questions because I am an internetard.
In case for some reason you’re not into meat photos, Nina takes pretty pics of all sorts of food. Here’s some strawberry shortcake which is appetizing to everyone unless they are a vegan or have some weird issue with strawberries.
She also includes recipes in case you want to try any of her meals yourself.
My Visit to Greece
Posted: March 4, 2013 Filed under: Culture, Uncategorized | Tags: chicken, Wegmans, Rochester NY, wegmans prepared food, mt. read, greece ny, jim morrison 1 Comment »This week 2 months ago I had a new adventure called going to the west side of Rochester and checking out their Wegmans. First of all, the Mt. Read Wegmans has zero vegetables. I mean, they have some, but only the kind that hardly count like lettuce. I didn’t notice any kale while I scowled at everything.
On my first trip there, I parked on the side of the building since I was only going to the prepared food section and then commencing a high powered business meeting. Well I was very surprised to find out that even though there were signs for the Market Cafe on the side of the building, this inferior Wegmans only has one door unlike the perfect and glowing Pittsford Wegmans which has all the doors you can dream of. The other great thing about not-Mt. Read Wegmans locations is that they have green juice which is full of nutrients which they don’t care about in Greece. You can hardly even buy water. Also they have the coffee cups on lockdown because Greece residents are obviously big coffee shoplifters. It’s sad.
Problem 2. The prepared food bar had no vegetables and I wanted roasted vegetables which I have grown accustomed to having on demand. Dear Greece, NY, did you know that everyone can eat vegetables, not just vegetarians? The only thing you can eat in Greece is chicken. They had a chicken wing bar. They had asian food that was all chicken. Even the egg rolls and samosas were meaty meaty meaty.
Problem 17. Fake fur coats. Not even nice and cool fake fur. Just trashy cheap fake fur for poor fats. I want real fur coats when I’m grocery shopping. To accompany the tattered leopard print were sweatpants. People were wearing normal tops and then sweatpants. And gold chains.I don’t believe anyone owns real pants in Rochester.
The biggest mystery of all was the girl in the mesh shirt. Pretty much the mystery was that someone was wearing a mesh blouse. This was not her only questionable choice. She was also eating chicken wings with a man. Later she moved to another table and had some chinese food. Everyone was hanging out eating chicken. So much chicken. I also learned that families have Sunday dinner at Wegmans and going to Applebee’s is a special occasion restaurant.
Sugar Mountain Bake Shoppe
Posted: January 13, 2013 Filed under: Opinion, Put it in Your Mouth | Tags: cupcake epidemic, Rochester NY, sugar mountain bake shoppe, Wegmans, winter leggings, yotality Leave a comment »Saturday evening after a hard day of astro-blogging, my business partner and I decided to reward ourselves with some cupcakes. Well, we didn’t particularly want cupcakes, but at 9pm there are not many options. We went to the only place in Rochester open after 9 besides Wegmans – Sugar Mountain Bake Shoppe. I specifically know they are open past 9 because we sat in their parking lot reading about how they are open till 11 and what that day’s flavors were. Sugar Mountain is a place filled with dolls and hats and feathers and a man. When we got there, it was completely dark. This was mega confusing, so I drove around for a while and ended up back at the closed bakery. We walked up to the door. And guess what we found??????? A sign that said they sold out of cupcakes. This happens pretty much every night to every cupcake dispensary in Rochester, NY. I am not an economist, but I thought if you consistently run out of your product you’d increase production? IDK.
(side note: I hate cupcakes)
After this devastation, we drove around and looked at an Italian restaurant that possibly had desserts. Then I remembered the reason I was going to the terrifying cupcake place to begin with was because I’d had a chemical peel earlier and my face was super shiny and I was wearing a really stupid outfit and sneakers and also my hair may have looked weird.
We finally found a frozen yogurt place and it was not very good and was way too expensive for fake ice cream. After that some private breakthroughs were made so it was a sugar fail, but a universe success.
Conclusion: I had 4 pimples yesterday morning and today they are all gone thanks to the qualified staff at Q Medical Spa.
Hong Kong House
Posted: November 30, 2012 Filed under: Put it in Your Mouth | Tags: chinese takeout, death, ed westwick, gossip girl, hollister, hong kong house, meat, Pizza, Rochester NY, Southwedge 4 Comments »One time someone came over and sat on the couch for a few hours. Finally I was like fuck I’m hungry. He said “you should order from Hong Kong House. They deliver late and they have all the best pizza and Chinese food in all the land.” And with that, he left.
I love ghetto Chinese food and I also love pizza, so I knew this had the potential to be the best takeout experience of my life. I waited patiently by the door for the delivery man to arrive. First disappointment was that they called even though it’s a house and didn’t just come to the door. They also showed up in Hollister sweatshirts and pajama pants. Sure being a Chinese/Pizza delivery late night driver is not super glam, but no reason to dress like you’ve given up on life.
pj pants are not going to get you any takeout delivery porn action. dress appropriately.
The food from Hong Kong House was without a doubt the worst takeout food I’ve ever had and that includes anything I may have previously said was the worst takeout food ever. A direct quote from my dining companion: “The vegetable fried rice tasted like meat death.”
Gift Guide Volume 1
Posted: September 13, 2012 Filed under: Book It, Culture, Sheeny Guide to Hate | Tags: abortion, annette funicello, gift guide, gifts $5 and under, gifts for every occasion, walt disney, wonderland comics 3 Comments »Annette’s parents are dead possibly? That’s ok, she has a lot of pretty dresses and lives with her aunt. She is going to spend the summer with her cousins who she hasn’t seen since she was very young. On the way there she gets a flat tire and meets a helpful yet surly yet handsome boy. Later he is accused of a petty crime. Annette goes horseback riding. At some point after this she solves the mystery and they handsome yet surly boy is exonerated. Conveniently Annette’s uncle is a judge.
book is lacking in bikinis and singing ::frown face::
Perfect Gift For Saying: Thanks for having that abortion even though I had to miss half a day of work, you bitch.
Harry G’s Has Terrible Service, but at Least They Have Good Meat
Posted: August 30, 2012 Filed under: Restaurant Reviews | Tags: cocaine, deli, harry g's, hipster, meat, pot heads, Rochester NY, sandwiches, shit service, slackers, south ave, Southwedge, steak sub Leave a comment »Last evening my body dysmorphia took a manic upswing and I decided I wouldn’t be fat and horrible forever if I ate a steak sandwich at Harry G’s.
Pro’s: They have good meat and bread.
Cons: Their service is shit. I’ve been to Harry G’s about 6-8 times now and ate in the deli all but two of those times. I’ve never been there when anyone knew how to use the cash register. Once the girl spent about 10 minutes trying to figure out how to put tape in the receipt machine. Dumb ass dude in the back stood there staring at her, while customers were trying to help her. Then dumbass finally came out after she asked for help several times and he said it was the wrong paper.
They don’t clean the tables. On one visit all the tables had plastic baskets and napkins left on them from previous diners. The trash can was overflowing. Dude kept bringing food out and wandering around, but apparently it never occurred to him to CLEAN UP THE FUCKING GARBAGE so customers had somewhere to sit. On this same visit someone ordered coffee, but they were out of cream so she went across the street to the grocery and had to buy her own. If the owner were there or not a total douche asshole he would have sent an employee to the grocery that is right across the street to buy cream but I guess he’d prefer to tell customers for the next 5 hours they don’t have cream and fuck off.
What do all these incidents say to me? That the owner is never there. That if he has a ‘manager’ they are also never there or they are a 2o year old pot head who doesn’t give a shit. It appears no one there is trained whatsoever. I’ve never placed an order and not have to repeat it because the people at the counter seem to never have been taught how to enter orders.
On my most recent and LAST VISIT EVER which was last night, they fucked up more than half the orders that came out of the kitchen in the 30 or so minutes I was there. Wrong fries, wrong sandwich, no sandwich at all. My dining companion never got their dinner and finally asked for a refund. In fact after waiting 20 minutes when he asked where the sandwich was, she brought him a sandwich that had been sitting on the counter for 15 minutes that was the wrong one and she’d previously carried around the dining area asking if it belonged to anyone. There was also a weird dude who kept wandering in and out. I don’t like weirdos wandering in and out while I’m eating.
Conclusion: Sheeny, stop buying takeout or you’ll be a fatty. I can make it myself. And I can download adobe updates by myself now too. Solution Oriented.
menu banished from my takeout menu shelf
Is Mario’s Via Abruzzi the Worst Restaurant in All of Rochester? Yes.
Posted: July 19, 2012 Filed under: Restaurant Reviews | Tags: dinner forks, endangered wildlife, fettucine alfredo, instagram filter, italian food, mario daniele, napkin crafts, old country buffet, PTSD, Rochester NY, salad forks 4 Comments »This has been troubling me for a while now. 1996ish: I went to lunch with my friend and sister. Perhaps we were shopping at Marshall’s? That’s what poor teens do so it’s the most likely. We decided to eat lunch at Mario’s. At the time I did not like eating with big forks. I preferred to eat my whole meal with the salad fork. Well, the waiter took my salad fork even thought I put it out of the way so he wouldn’t. I took one from an empty table. He came over and took it. I think this happened at least one more time.
put a napkin bow in my hair I was so upset as the memories flooded back.
On top of this atrocity, Mario’s also has the worst shit Italian food at bloated prices. I may as well go to Old Country Buffet for fettucine alfredo. This is particularly perplexing since Mario is allegedly from Italy. He also hates wildlife and would rather kill eagles so he and his sons can buy all the relaxed fit dress pants they want.
do you like overpriced jar sauce? Mario will gladly ship this anywhere for you.
